The Perfect Penalty Formula

By Football Daft at 24 March, 2009, 1:34 pm

Scientists come up with the perfect penalty formula? Please, pull the other one!

Has anyone else come across this “breaking” news today that scientists or boffins or whatever name they are going by nowadays have come up with the perfect penalty formula?

These so called “geniuses” have come up with the following formula for taking pens:

The SHOT should be 65mph or more. This requires a RUN-UP of five to six paces, commencing from the edge of the 18-yard line — approaching the ball at an ANGLE of 20 to 30 degrees.

And it must CROSS the goal line at exactly 0.5m below crossbar and 0.5m inside either post.

Hasn’t someone told these guys that everybody already knows this? Everyone knows HOW they should take a penalty, the problem is actually doing it. Coming out with all that crap is the same as saying “Skelp it as hard as you can straight into the top corner son and you will score!”. But, we all know it isn’t as easy as that.

If you put a guy out there in front of 50,000 jeering fans, with i don’t know, say a Champions League trophy at stake and tell him if he scores this penalty then his team are champions of Europe, then there are a whole load of different factors that come in to play.

Yes, i’m referring to John Terry in last season Champions League final against Man Utd. I’m pretty sure Mr Terry didn’t intentionally slip at the pivotal moment and if you were to give John this “formula” and say to him “This is what you should have done mate” he would tell you to go fuck yourself. And i doubt Le Sulk would agree with it either.

Scientists? Boffins? Donkeys more like.